Ya know… its Diwali… TIME TO FULFILL MY MUDEROUS ENDEAVORS!!!!!!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!
I mean… innocently burst crackers (Not the biscuits… I’M NEVER BURSTING MY BABIES)… WHILE STEAL- I mean sharing some fireworks with my neighbors and friends like a good little girl.
Now being the… Non - Resident Indians that we are (NRI squad, where you at?!), we have a very teeny weenie celebration when compared to the big daddy celebration in India, yet we fend off police cars like it’s nobody’s business.
I uh… did fun stuff… with my friends… and now… I STILL CAN!!!!!!!! with a little compromise… oBvIoUsLy
This whole mask thing has kinda become a part of me and if you uhm… DiDn’T know… we have a protocol that we follow here. Whenever we have a new member join the crowd… GOTTA PUT THEM IN EVERYTHING, it’s called uhm… ‘Hospitility’, to really make them feel… wElCoMeD.
Now culture sure does come under the label of ‘everything’ and you all know just how much we love DIY so…
“Mom I need a mask, a butterfly… wha-? Animal Abuse? Oh no!! One sec mom, someone’s at the door, forget that, they’re full on banging. Yeah I’ll take care, bye!”
“FBI OPEN UP!!!”
“Wha-?”
“PUT YOUR HANDS UP NOW!”
“I think you’ve been mistaken, I haven’t don-“
WHERE’S THE ANIMAL?”
“I don’t have any?”
“DON’T LIE TO ME!! WE’VE GOTTEN A CASE OF BUTTERFLY ABUSE!!”
“THAT WAS A FIRE WORK FOR GOODNESS SAKE!”
“Oh… well sorry for the… uh… inconvenience… so uh… bye kiddo!”
“Anyway… mom some sturdy old duct tape as well please!”
Fine… I ain’t taping masks onto my trusty firecrackers this Diwali but I sure will tape them onto myself while bursting minimum, minimal waste crackers (That sure was a mouthful…) cause… gotta keep my bud, environment happy!
Though we’re cutting back on the bursting part of the festivity, NO ONE’S TAKING MY FOOD TONIGHT! Screw that famous proverb of eating like a pauper, cause TONIGHT! I’m eating like a queen, day in and day out, THIS DIWALI!!!!!
As I sit here writing this quite the ride for an article when it comes to well… the writing perspective, quite a few memories twirl and twist towards the front and play in my mind.
I remember I was quite the loner during Diwali, around 2 years ago. I sat on my balcony floor with some poppers, watching them burst as I threw them onto the ground and then turn dark and useless.
I associated them with myself you know, just another girl, jumps around a bit and then falls, useless and worthless at its best. I didn’t exactly have any close friends and I just sat, throwing one popper at a time as I listened to my brother scream with laughter as he talked to his friend on the phone while the fire erupting from fireworks being lit nearby, shimmered magically along with the moonlight on my marble balcony floor.
Life was hard at the time but I shared it with the occasion of Diwali. It acted quite similar to like… a timeline of friendship and just relationships in general, in my life. I spent the first Diwali that I could remember with my… fake ‘friends’ at the least, the next one with new found friends, next one with sorrows from betrayed friendships, next one with the reminiscence of acknowledging the toxicity of my first ever companions, next one alone but not at the same time? (Do you get me?) And finally with true friends, family and… happiness?
Diwali, though to some just another festival, was a reminder of so many moments, both the good and bad to me and I saw myself evolve out of situations that I deemed impossible.
So get out your bazookas-… I mean fireworks, your family and… LIGHTS, FIREWORKS AND EXPLODE!!!!!!
Right… so who’s paying for the firecrackers again?