Parents are the bigger culprits! Let the child set their own goals, Sqn. Ldr. Manish Kumar

IIK Staff Reporter; Photo: Anwar Sadath Thalasserry

Saturday, October 6, 2018

The Major issue these days the students facing are the lack of clear direction about their future, said famous motivational speaker and life coach Sqn. Ldr. Manish Kumar (Retd.). Students need to set their goals from their early age itself, he added. Sqn. Ldr. Manish Kumar was in Kuwait to attend "SciMa" - Inter School festival on Science and Mathematics organized by Salmiya Indian Model School SIMS.

"I was amazed by the questions on consciousness by a 6th standard student in Kuwait while I was taking one session in SIMS. The depth of questions the students are asking here are very interesting. You can see the brightness on their face, which itself says about the attentiveness of the students." Mr Manish said.

It is very important for the students to know setting their goals in life. One day they want to be something in their life but the next day they want to be something else. The students should ask the question "Who Am I or what I want to be". If they write the answer in a paper regularly, the pattern will automatically come to their mind. The formulae are "What Why When and How". What you want to do, why you want to do, when you want to do and How to do and get it. The goal should be exciting to you. Bigger the goal it is easier to achieve. Also it is important to understand why you want to achieve this goal. "If you decided that you want to become something, you should ask yourself why you want to become that. Is it for the money, Is it for the fame, or getting the laurels for your country? At what time frame you will achieve it?" Mr Manish said. If the WHY is strong, the HOW will come anyhow.

"So when you write that I want to become a doctor in 2025, you are actually working backward. It gives you the direction that I want to pass my 12th standard by the year 2020, I want to pass my medical entrance, etc", he says. Set your bigger goal for the year, set your goal for the month, and finally set your goal for each day. This is how it works. "I tell my students to write at least ten things daily towards your goal. goals could be anything which leads to your long term goal. At night, within that 10 goals, check yourself how many you achieved. If you missed something, repeat that the next day also. Every day you should know how far you are in achieving your goal. So every day they know that they are working towards their goal. For example, if your goal is to become a doctor in 2025, make a daily goal such that I will read 10 new things about science every day, Mr Manish said.

Today the choices are so much and majority of students know whet they want to be. They can find out what they are good at. Know yourself who you are, realize the talents or strength you have, and Use your talents for the humanity. But the parents are the bigger culprits in most of the case. There are two type of parents. One who are very much worried about their students and the other who are not at all worried about their students. Some parents are very much worried about the marks of even an 8-year-old child. What difference it make if an 8-year-old got 60 % or 75%? it is not going to change his life, said Mr Manish. Let the child be as it is. When the child grows, these marks he got in these classes never matter in his life.



Parents are a control freak today. In many places parents today giving negative strokes to their child. "Once I asked a parents to observe for a week what all thing he is telling his child and at the end of the week, he came to me and told that I am only telling him don’t do this, don’t do that", This is what is happening these days, said Mr Mansh. We never tell them what to do. but we always tell what not to do. The parents need to realize himself.

Let the child feel that he can do anything in his life. The parents always say "With this attitude you will not pass, you will fail… etc" to their child. Instead you should build their character. you should build their strength. See what the child is good at. and you give them the resources.

The day to day communication between parents and child are very important. There is a saying that the family who prays together stays together. Whichever the religion, there should be a space for meditation together. If the parents follow the spiritual path first to know himself, then only they can know somebody else, Mr Manish said.

Sqn. Ldr. Manish Kumar started his career with Air Force, followed his heart to achieve his dreams. “When I was in a fourth standard in boarding school, for the first time in my life, I saw a helicopter landing in our school ground. I was fascinated to it and though wow this is a wonderful machine where we can go anywhere and land in any place. By the time I was in 6th standard, I decided that I want to be a pilot, that too a helicopter pilot. I was carrying the dream of landing the helicopter on the roof of my home, etc. it ends up in joining national defense academy and later become the helicopter pilot”, a clear example of how he followed his dreams to achieve it. Once in Air force, Mr Manish set new goals to achieve, ie to saving the life. “In 1999, when there was severe cyclone in Gujrat, I was in charge of the rescue operation in air force and in that dangerous condition, we were able to save many life’s”, Mr Manish, who was awarded Chief of Air Staff medal for that rescue efforts said.

The realization of his potential to inspire people created a new goal in his life. To motivate people to achieve their goals. “I decide to resign from my high flying career with Air force and started inspiring the people to achieve their goals by which I was able to change the life of many,” Mr Manish, who is the author of famous "Be your own Pilot" said.

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