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Counting Constants…

Dr.Navniit Gandhi Tuesday, March 29, 2022
Counting Constants…

‘The Sun, the Moon and the Earth’----was the title of a story I recently read. A dear friend’s dear daughter was given an assignment by her teacher. She had to write a short story, and it was her first attempt at doing so. She forwarded it to me for reading. I was intrigued by the title. The story was about three friends who grew up together in the same neighborhood. At the threshold of youth, their respective destinies take them away from each other. They remain in touch always, though. One day, they decide to meet and catch up and finally the turn of events bring them together for good. The highlight of the story was not the upheavals that each one of them went through, but that irrespective of those storms in their lives, how each one survived just knowing that the other two were there…

The title, apparently, was to convey that no matter where life takes us---there need to be some‘constants’ in our lives. Just as there are: the sun, the moon, and the earth. Moving away from our familiar shores---the weather, the sea, the breeze, the terrain, the folks, ---all of it changes but ultimately, we remain on the same Earth and watch the same Sun and the Moon--day after day. And, so it is with some folks, isn’t it? No matter where life takes us and no matter what becomes of us---whether we become beautiful or ugly; successful or otherwise; rich or poor; cynical or at-ease—no matter what happens to us, a few bonds remain constant and survive all weathers and terrains.

We need; all of us very much need one or two constants in our lives. Whether we continue to live in the same city or one of us goes to the far end of the Earth---that feeling ought to be there those one or two persons are there; will always be there.

Have you ever counted? How many constants do you have? Have you ever tried knowing?

Not all good friends or acquaintances are constants. In our ongoing journey, we keep meeting new people, and we keep losing a few earlier ones. The newer ties keep filling the void left by the former ones. But then, there are the constants, who keep us sane and going… They prevent a total uprooting or collapse, which a potential emotional storm could result in. They are those whom we meet early on in our lives and who stay almost till the end. Just knowing that they are there, fills our being with a reassurance; a sense of ease and a bit of courage too.

How many were you born with or met early on in life? And how many have you lost already? Counting….???

A brother or a sister; a childhood friend or a teacher; a nanny or a driver; mom or dad or both--if one is lucky or one’s first love---anyone can be that constant. Sometimes, there is someone who is there since a long time but we notice how steadfast and precious he or she has been—several years later. Sadly, parents cannot be constants for all of us. We love them and they love us but we do not share everything with them. And, for some of us, our parents bid us goodbyes by the time we reach our middle years.

Guess, even if one is there---sturdy and strong, it suffices. If you have two, you are sheer lucky and if there are three, you are overwhelmingly blessed. And such bonds need not be those that require constant servicing. You don’t have to do things for them; buy gifts or chat incessantly with or even focus on your appearance to be in their good books. No, nothing….

Remember: the sun, the moon, and the earth---they are unconditionally there; they just give, give and give. They may not talk much to us or ask much from us but they are there. In the middle of a dark night or of an excruciating day, you take a peep outside and there, they are! And, the constants do not fall prey to any battles of ego or of expectations. They do not accuse and there are no excuses they offer. Just, plain and unfiltered presence and support.

Some find their constant in their own selves! Well, isn’t it true? Sometimes, the power of self-love is greater and more fulfilling. You know best what you go through… You’re there for you---through thick and thin, no matter what!

Here is a fantastic truth for us to remember. While it would be lovely to have one or two constants in our lives, but even if there is none, one can be that constant for oneself! Wonderful, isn’t it? And if you aren’t already happy or comfortable with yourself and do not love yourself one bit, there wouldn’t even otherwise be anyone for you! Only after you feel complete, contented and fulfilled, that you can attract fulfilling ties in your life.

And there are other minor fillers too, which can be our earth, moon and the sun. Books, for instance. They are just forever forever there… They do not judge and nor do they pretend. Our wrinkles or impoverishment is also not a hiccup with them. You take one book in your hand, and it envelops you warmly, without ado. A passion such as one for painting or music or for calligraphy etc too can be one constant in our lives. However, we are ultimately social beings and while books and a passion can be one constant in our lives, the need and importance of a living relationship is beyond measure.

Why not then work towards nurturing one bond at least with a living constant, and one with a passion or a thing like books? This way, even if there is a threat of losing one, the other would have our back! What say….?

There are a lot of things and relationships we are all running after. We want to network a lot and amass a lot! Some are undoubtedly reasonable pursuits; but some, completely worthless. And, by the time we realise that the reason we feel empty inside or restless or depressed---is because there is just no constant in our lives and we never worked towards nourishing one, the very end of the journey is near. And there is no going back! Not even a single moment can be retrieved or recalled. How many moments or days lie ahead, we know not either…

Well, well… how many then? Did you count? Can you think of two constants? Or, are you sure there are three or more of them? Wonderful, indeed, if so!

Just a minute though…

More important, are you a constant in any life? In, at least, one life? Does someone amongst the hundreds you know and interact with, look up at you with glimmer of hope and relief? Does even one soul, close his or her eyes at night, with a smile on the face, knowing that you are there in his or her life? Is there any one head that bows in gratitude when you come to their mind, while they pray to God?

Dr.
Dr. Navniit Gandhi is an academic, writer, author and a trainer/counsellor. Her write-ups can be read at navniitspeaks.wordpress.com
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Express your comment on this article

 
Shyam
Saturday, April 9, 2022
Meaningful article
Found three of my constants Sun, Moon and Earth.
Searching for others

Sheeja Menon
Sunday, April 3, 2022
Hi dear
After reading this I started counting my constants... though just a few of them yet happy to know that they wil stand besides me rock solid come what may.

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