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Forgive but don't forget

Nazneen Ali Wednesday, June 12, 2024
Forgive but don

“Thank you, sorry and please” have been taught as the three magical words that makes an individual a good human being. People often use these words as a part of their normal conversation without even realizing the importance and significance of these words. It is used because everyone assumes that using these makes them a good individual. However, the word “sorry” when used in a normal conversation is just a word without a deep regret or without a genuine intention of not repeating the same mistake again. Same goes when saying “thank you” to someone. The word is there, but the gratitude and realization that the other person has done something really good is missing. So is for “please”, where the intention is just to get the work done or a request fulfilled, without any feelings beneath. The dictionary is full of such words which can be categorized as the words of etiquettes intended to make one a better person and the world a better place. No doubt, the usage of such words sound soothing to the ears and so are needed. Yet, the real life implementation and implication of such words is missing and this lack of understanding of the deeper meaning, the lack of intentions dilute the impact that these words could actually create.

Same goes for the good quotes of life that are taught. It is often said, “Forgive and forget”. Forgiving is a noble deed that sets one free from the pain and distress of being hurt; it relieves one from the burden of revenge; it makes one stronger in accepting the realities of life, accepting the real face of the other person and reshaping one's life in light of the truth that yes someone did wrong to us, yet we will not do the same to them; instead, continue with our goodness hoping that this forgiveness might make the other person realize his wrong doing and with that realization the person may change for good. However, forgetting after forgiving is not that can be always advocated to be correct.

The Chinese proverb says, “I hear and I forget, I see and I remember, I do and I understand”. This proverb can be extended for “I experience and I learn”. This learning can be both positive and negative. The positive aspect of the lesson learnt from someone's bad behavior is to remember the fact that one has to distance himself from that person to safeguard his own personal interest, to ensure his well-being. The negative aspect of this learning is imitation. By experiencing the outcome of the bad behavior of the other person, one learns and discover ways to behave in the same manner as he experienced, which is rather worse and the damage done will be much more than the original wounds that one got by the behavior of the other person. That's where “don't forget” finds its place. One should forgive the person who did wrong to him so that he will do away with the feeling of taking revenge. However, one should never forget the person, never forget the pain he underwent. Never forgetting the person will help one to make a safe distance so that he doesn't end up getting hurt again. It’s difficult to accept and not true always but yes wrong doers have a tendency towards wrong deeds, so better wear a mask when dealing with such infectious people. Secondly if one doesn't forget how badly he was hurt, his cognitive mind will never allow him to behave in the similar way and hurt someone else. This way the chain of bad behavior will get broken and goodness will spread.

In the current era where we are seeing wars between Nations one after the other, we are witnessing people being killed, people becoming homeless, we are ought to sympathize with those who are undergoing the miseries, those who are suffering. These miseries, these sufferings, these wounds are leaving a scar on the face of Humanity. Though the sufferings of those who are directly impacted will never end soon as they will be left with the painful memories of their loss, the world will keep moving forward and with time these scars on the face of Humanity will become lighter and the wrong doers will be forgiven. But it is important that their inhumane acts, their cruel deeds should never be forgotten because this remembrance will lay the foundation for new regulations to be formed, new acts to be brought in action, new laws to be passed and new international bodies to be formed to safeguard the interest of the innocent masses.

Whatever we read in the newspapers about the atrocities that these war victims are undergoing, the extreme brutalities they are facing and the acts of barbarism they are witnessing has left the world in a state of shock. It is a time to think and analyze where we as a world are moving towards. It’s a time for everyone to think and decide the future course of action. Should this not be forgiven and should this series of revenge continued paving the way for another round of such atrocities or should there be a way to forgive and move forward accepting and accommodating; yet not forgetting the wrong that was done. Not forgetting the miseries and sufferings, not forgetting the fact that if this pain is forgotten the world might end up in a non-ending vicious circle of pain and revenge.

General Secratary, Writers'Forum Kuwait


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Express your comment on this article

 
Nazneen Ali
Sunday, August 11, 2024
Thank you so much dear readers for your time and attention in reading this article and giving your feedback. Appreciate 👍

Shaheen Bagwala
Friday, August 2, 2024
Soo true..naju apa
''Forgive but don''t or rather never forget'' helps one move forward in his life. Ignoring the bad and accepting the good helps you grow as a better person. The good that is inside you and around. Being good to a person who hurt you the most in life is nt easy, it is quite difficult and tough. However, distancing from such toxic people is a better and a more fruitful choice of living.

Najmuddin Changi
Friday, August 2, 2024
One of the best article I had ever read. It''s unforgettable. Let''s hope & pray that we become more better human beings.

Hatts of Nazneenben

Shabnam jawriya
Friday, August 2, 2024
Awesome article
Touching the ❤heart
Good luck nazneen Ali

Sabiha Zari Luqmani
Friday, August 2, 2024
Thank u Nazneen, Ur Article is good n positive.. its very easy n has become easy to say sorry n thank u but the gravity it carries for regret n gratitude is just like throwin a ball in air which returns back n fall on us.. very tough n hard to forgive n forget easily.. once we forgive but still remember n taunt is more harsh .. may Almighty help us to do good deeds to forget first before forgiving.. .. my views

Tasneem Sanwarwala
Friday, August 2, 2024
Forgiveness means to forget within if u remember the impact and move ahead it will hurt you more than the person who did wrong to you so you have to forgive from heart and move forward in life .Second point you said about to stay away from the person who did wrong but if you stay near that person though how many times wrongly hurt that person Vl feel shame and think that I did wrong to him but still he is not going far .In this era no one has time for family and relatives and here wgeb any one member does wrong all leave that person and move but you have to take that person and move and show him that you are a family member of ours though you did wrong to us

Sabir Hussain Ansari
Friday, August 2, 2024
Congratulations for a thought provoking commentary on the Quote!
Even though the Quote is debatable from different perspectives, the article has a balancing impact. Nice Read.

Shabbir Munawer
Thursday, August 1, 2024
So True ......... As Usual words of Pearl With Golden Pen ...

Nasreen mashraqi
Thursday, August 1, 2024
Very well said and very
Insightful article Ms Nazneen thanks .

I think at the end we should learn from the experience that’s make us more strong and as u said “forgive and move forward “ is the best policy one should adopt for our own peace of mind.

Ajab Hita
Thursday, August 1, 2024
Just awesome writeup

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