Posted On
8/6/2022
11:29:58 AM
by
Nathan
If you haven''t met him in 20 years, that''s not a relationship and relationships based on monetary value are a definite No in my opinion. Only you know your financial situation. If you are willing to write off whatever you choose to give, then so be it. From what you have described, It doesn''t look like you will get your money back. I had a similar experience over 20 years back with a very close friend who also lived close by asking for 3L, I said no and that was that. But in my friend''s case I knew exactly what he would or wouldn''t do with the money having burned my fingers several times in the past bailing him out financially. Haven''t spoken to him since he slammed the phone on me over 20 years ago.
N
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Posted On
8/6/2022
12:37:21 PM
by
Sa
I went through a similar situation once. I explained to the person that I don''t have much salary and moreover my children and studying and needs to send their fees. Also I have a loan for my house. After that he never asked or come back to me. People thinking that we are earning so much. You know better your situation and just avoid them.
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Posted On
8/6/2022
1:53:30 PM
by
SKS
Say Diplomatically NO.
@Sa excuses are good as diplomatic.
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Posted On
8/6/2022
2:30:20 PM
by
SK
Just tell him,
Bhai Jaan mang le, but paise mat mang!!
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Posted On
8/6/2022
4:43:30 PM
by
sheik abdullah usman
Telling him a white lie like you are caught up in an investment and have a huge loan which eats up your salary every month may save the grace. More over your friend (or ex- colleague) is asking an acquaintance like you means he is desperate and must have asked 100 others along with you, so no need to feel emotional about this situation.
You are right by giving him 20k. That really will help him and yourself.
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Posted On
8/7/2022
8:07:53 AM
by
Me
Don''t give any excuses. Just say No boldly. It''s your money and your decision. The second option of 20K is your kind heart. Go ahead.
Mark my words. In both cases "No" and giving 3 Lakhs, the person will stop contacting you. First case he is hurt. Second case you will be hurt. But in first case you will not be faulty and second case you will be guilty.
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Posted On
8/7/2022
8:39:03 AM
by
Rigid
Similar to your story;-
My close friend asked me 10K before 7 years due to some emergency saying that within a month he will return. I was earning only 150KD salary still I gave him because he is my best friend (didn''t return back until today :P)
Again same friend asked me 20K before 4 years due to emergency saying within 3 days he will return. I trusted him and i lended him again. (didn''t return it till today :P)
Again he asked me 5K this year i said NO not now as i had some commitments.
From the day I said no.. there is no contact between us!!!! Neither in a friendly group or personal!!
SO, my advise is better not to pay and be ready to loose him whenever you say NO:)
Some think we get money here from trees without hard work!
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Posted On
8/7/2022
9:22:24 AM
by
Ramesh Babu P. Babu
Help him at least 50% from the total he asked maybe his expecting help from you dont say no just arrange 150000 tell him its arranged in difficulties, he will feel happy he will return soon, some times we are also in same situation
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Posted On
8/7/2022
9:42:23 AM
by
raymond george
Just say NO. The well being of your family is more important than your friendship. This guy should have some shame asking you a big amount. There are lots of such shameless people around who have no shame in asking money and the moment they get the money from you the highest priority would be to forget about it and not repaying you back.
I have a friend like this. he was always walking in high dreams , never wanted to work in normal jobs. he used to run his own company . he borrows literally from everyone he knows and then he forgets it. the strange part is that he would shamelessly ask you after a few months for more being completely oblivious about the old lended money.
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Posted On
8/7/2022
10:10:08 AM
by
The Kay
Your approach is ideal.
If you can say No, say it straight. Otherwise, tell him you got your commitments and you can help him with 25K and he doesn''t need to return it.
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Posted On
8/7/2022
10:11:39 AM
by
Advisor
1. Say Straight forward No !
if he is your true friend , he will still keep the friendship like before.
if not then you was living with fake friends all these years.
2.since you are ready to pay 20k, tell him , you can''t arrange 3lakh but can help with gesture of 20k.
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Posted On
8/8/2022
8:34:57 AM
by
Jolly Roger
All those advised "no", please note that How to Deal will still give him the money. I say this because he doesn''t have the courage to stand up on his own.
Which is more important to you: the "feeling" of friendship or the reality of money?
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Posted On
8/9/2022
9:55:30 AM
by
Jlit Jlit
A real scenario most expatriate face many a times....! I have gone through many of the responses. Personally I would suggest you to be wise enough not to give away the money (3Lk) your friend requested. Rather, you should be bold enough and convincing him as good friends about your financial situation and pay him off 20K or 25K which is more than enough in this case.
I am dam sure that your fried and his wife would be thinking / or expecting the same action (20K), however, they tried to explore a bit more with your for no cost and if were given so nice!! Value the money you have hard earned and do support your friend and collogues, to the extend required only.
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