Posted On
1/12/2020
8:44:34 PM
by
JJ
Lot of common people face this dilemma. We have to live with it. That`s is life. When you are trying to be financially safe, you may tend to loose peace.
|
Posted On
1/12/2020
10:02:46 PM
by
Indian''s Dilemma
Unfortunately a lot of ppl discover this at a certain stage when they are married and with their still young kids n parents have become too feeble to take care of themselves (Altho not fair but how convenient) We all like our space (nuclear family idea) when we are young and prefer closeness (joint family idea) when we age.
Culturally or individualistically thats the reason why a lot of ppl suggest having joint family, or nearest idea is having extended families close to the Empty-nest grown-old ones. Others rely on their Good-Samaritan neighbors, all of with whom thoughtful long sighted NRI couples have formed a strong bonds right from the word go. They see the cons of nuclear family coming early on. They teach their parents usage of modern technology (whatsapp,). Possibly bring widowed , unmarried aged (non-conflicting) relatives together (non-conflicting). Like u put some put their wives n kids to support which affects the husband''s health or well being in some way (regardless of the freedom that husband get that they desire).
Few ones cannot cope up with this homesickness (whether from immediate ones or aging parents) and go back to their homeland. Those self sufficient who can move places (US, Canada, Australia, Europe) which allow the entire family to be together do so. A Lot of affluent ones to n fro a lot of times which gives them opportunities to look into their parents well being. A lot of them compel their parents (or some of their parents are self induced) to have periodic medical test to screen for any anomalies. Some unfortunately but affording couple put them to old age homes or under supervision of medical caretaker. Nonetheless, with all above aging parents are advised to visit social gatherings to be active and automatically vigil-ed upon.
Some of the family culture is to have family planning so as if u are 35-40 yrs ur parents are still in their 50-60s. This helps in helping u and helping them cope up with stress and family burdens.
NB: For u all see if u have family history (genetic) which can lead to of any terminal illness unless ur family has a poor lifestyle choices (eating out, bingeing, alcoholism, smoking, spicy foods, sweet tooth, greasy options, unbalanced diet) and nevertheless psychological complex n syndrome.
Bottom line is every choice has its pros and cons, which ever u choose shall reap its two sides of the same coin. u have to be long sighted to think of all such happening... Get ready young...not at the ninth hour.
|
Posted On
1/13/2020
2:53:30 AM
by
keralite
have more kids. so that you don''t face the same thing your parents are facing..
|
Posted On
1/14/2020
2:18:14 AM
by
SKS
@Indian''''s Dilemma
Are you doing some IELTS / PTE training - Such a long Essay.
Make it less lengthy, else your marks will cut due to more no. of words.
|
Posted On
1/14/2020
4:52:48 AM
by
SilverBeard
@ Indian - I guess this topic connects to several of the IIKians . Been there felt miserable for months or i can say still feel the guilt for choosing convenience . But then this is how our mind operates i guess. To evaluate a situation, you look for pro and cons and finally you side with that which is close to your perspective. For some its good savings, for some its safety of their kids/wife, then there are local goons/kidnappings/human trafficking/rapes/robbery/murders/too much moral policing /unnecessary interference from relatives&neighbors/pjihadi collateral/communal collateral/pollution.. among others.. that you want to be far far away..This was there even when we were growing up but then we SAW THINGS, WE KNOW THINGS.. and reluctant to pass it off to our kids and may b that is why we make a Perspective that outside India it is safe. We may not be saving a lot but still find it little peaceful or may be we have become too lazy, sticking to a daily routine that doesnt involve the things that we do normally in India.
Indian''s Dilemma has covered most i guess.., have some close relative live with your parents, pay bills online, set up home delivery system from local vendors/hawkers, make them aware of Emergency Numbers(112), save your area police patrolling in speed dail..keep regular touch with friends who can reach your house when required..Set up Doctor/nurse/lab technician home visit, when ever you visit india, make sure you meet your neighbors and have their contact numbers and plan to send your your family during summer/winters holidays and once in 3 months yourself.
In-spite of this setup, i think the guilt will not go away as deep down we know that we are choosing convenience and the void our parents feel cannot be filled... This is turning out to be sad now..
|
Posted On
1/14/2020
5:36:34 AM
by
Mani G
Very sensitive topic! Important topic and seriously to be thought about it now!
Indians are very family oriented due to the deep cultural and traditional values. We are forced to leave our motherland due to the lack of earning / situations. But, I feel we need to draw a deadline and go back when our parents are alive. We can serve them better by this way if we plan well and if we have earned enough, possibly. Its better that way, otherwise, we need to feel for not taking care of them during their old age and it will be a lifetime worry!
Lets be responsible, thoughtful, plan well and go back home, to serve our parents and home land. All good hearted NRIs will have this missing feeling of our homeland. We should plan well, do some business in kerala and live there, spending quality time with family!
Jai Hind and Cheers!
|
